i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
