Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
