left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
