I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
