By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
