Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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