I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
