I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
