porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The air taste purple.
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