Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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