and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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