i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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