After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
