I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
