yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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