I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
