i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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