Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
