I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
