Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
