I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
