dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
