Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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