did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize