But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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