Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize