i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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