I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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