dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
