I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
