maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
