no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
