Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
