I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
