Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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