ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
