We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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