i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
