I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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