Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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