Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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