The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
