The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
