he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
