I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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