Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
