Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
That accounts for only three of the penises
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
wow bdsm is so cute
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
