Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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