508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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