Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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