How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Those nachos came to me in a dream
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
