i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
