My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
