Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
