i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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