Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
