I'm drive I can fine osifer
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
