new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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